To be honest, menopause hasn’t reached me yet. I’m still riding the effing wave. Consequently, so is my family. So are my friends. So is the world.
I’ve decided I have a few anger issues which I’ve also decided are fueled by hormones since that seems just as viable an option to blame as anything else but myself. So I’ve been trying to recognize the anger – then just do without the anger. Easy, right? (Do you all remember me stoppin’ in the ‘hood to yell at them for throwing a rock at my car?) Today was my first day out of bed all day, out and about, after a couple of days of solid bed so it was my first test since my decision to try my new Anger Management tactics.
1. When I pulled up to the only spot left to fill my car up with gas today, I had to squeeeeeeze out of my car so as not to hit the muttonhead’s beaten-up pickup truck that was haphazardly parked in the middle of the two gas lanes. I mumbled (loudly, of course) a few expletives while squeezing out of my driver-side door, but the driver wasn’t around to hear me being disgruntled at his parking abilities (probably in buying’ some smokes and his 12-pack of Schlitz). So, end of anger. I was just too tired to continue with it all. That one ended well. Success.
2. I was angrily exasperated with the eight questions I had to answer on the gas pump while using my credit card to get gas said gas. Decided it was life, and I had to deal with it. Also decided I was probably really angry at the muttonhead inept pickup-truck parker. Success. (Though I would still like to write to Sunoco, and tell them of their buffoonery on their eight questions on their pumps.)
3. Lawyerboy texted me something a little insensitive. After I threw the phone and took a Xanax, Marty picked up my phone and texted him back. End of anger. That one ended well. Success.
4. Marty is lying here next to me snoring uproariously. I am not angry. He cannot help it. He could go back and see what two doctors say about his “borderline” sleep apnea, but since he saved me from my #2 Anger Issue above, I will let my Xanax slither into my brain. Anger averted. Success.
You see, I’ve decided after five-years of intensive research that along with peri-menopause comes ANGER – quite a bit of it. You might just call me “Quick Draw McDraw” from now on, cuz that’s how fast my anger comes out between my ears.
Quick Draw McDraw