Tag Archives: PREMENOPAUSE

BACK OFF BT

I can’t bring myself to tell you what the “BT” stands for, but I’ve added it to Viper Tongue’s name on my List of Characters.  You can ruminate about it.

I just hung up on my gazillionth anonymous telemarketer.  I’ve tried everything (you know I have) to get off these lists. (Of course I’m on that useless unenforced-there-are-ways-around-it  ”Do Not Call” list.)

For a while, I would pick up the phone – after seeing on the Caller ID that it was some dumb call – press “talk”, and put it next to my flushing toilet while screaming some obscenity, and then hang up.  But this required me stumping (still have my surgical boot on) to the bathroom seven times/day without being productive in the bathroom.  (A menopausal woman already makes plenty of trips to the bathroom without telemarketing calls.)

Gone are the days when I just let the answering machine pick it up.  Because now they actually leave a message.

Today I received a call from “(0)” on the caller ID.  I answered it within one ring without saying “hello”, I said, “Can you please take me off your list” and hung up.  The nastyguy called back within seconds.  This time I said, “Hello?”

He said:  Sarah, may I speak with Marty? (the bold sob used our names)

I said:  Who’s calling?

Him:  Matthew

Me:  Matthew……do you have a last name?  (throwing in lots of attitude)

Him:  Reynolds, Matthew Reynolds (throwing in lots of attitude)

Me:  And you’re from where?

Him:  (Throwing in lots of attitude back and adding an arrogant chuckle) Ahhh, from nowhere.

Me:  (really?) Go blankety blank

and I hung up.  Damn they can’t hear me “slamming the phone down” when I hit “end call”.

He did not call back.  And he thinks we’re going to buy securities from him?  From a cold call?  Do they not know who I am?

But my favorite telemarketer (at least they are working – just do not be cocky with me), was this poor fellow to whom when I picked up the phone, instead of saying hello, I simply immediately said, “how about you go blankety blank”.  He said, “ohhhh, OK” and hung up.  I felt sorry for him, he sounded so defeated.  But not that sorry.

Matthew Reynolds….I’m on to you.

I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO’S ANGRY

HEADACHE LEVEL:  0 (“yay” is an understatement)

EFFEXOR LEVEL: 37 mg (still dwindling down)

PERIMENOPAUSE LEVEL: 3 (Marty’s lucky day)

All levels are on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst.

If you read my post yesterday about my anger issues which I blame on being pre-menopausal, peri-menopausal, or para-menopausal, you will see that I have a few new BFFs below:

And when the first one talks about a “gas experience”, she is speaking about my incident at the gas station, not an experience with flatulence, though I have those, too.

As a fellow “paramenopausal”, I say DO NOT manage the anger.  It is my firm belief that we owe it to the world to let them know how badly they all suck.  We owe it to ourselves to let out the ugliness inside.  I am in an angry mood and had a similiar gas experience this morning.  However as I was leaving my spot, I opened the window and told the idiot parked in the double lane what a great parking job…. probably should have been nicer to that elderly lady who really had no idea what I was talking about. Oh well I am in a bad mood and she should understand as she probably was once menopausal and angry.

I thought that was pretty damn funny.  In fact, I laughed out loud for the first time in days.  Then I got this reply as well:

My husband told me that since I have gone through menopause, it is like I have continuous PMS that never goes away.

To which I said:  What? You mean this will never go away?  Oy vey.

Yes, I’m reading my book about “anger”.  Is there a magic bullet to erase my Calvinistic perfectionism?  In the olden days that magic bullet was Milton, then Valium, now Xanax.  Oh how I wish I could live 24/7 on Xanax.

Love,

Little Miss Sunshine