I can’t bring myself to tell you what the “BT” stands for, but I’ve added it to Viper Tongue’s name on my List of Characters. You can ruminate about it.
I just hung up on my gazillionth anonymous telemarketer. I’ve tried everything (you know I have) to get off these lists. (Of course I’m on that useless unenforced-there-are-ways-around-it ”Do Not Call” list.)
For a while, I would pick up the phone – after seeing on the Caller ID that it was some dumb call – press “talk”, and put it next to my flushing toilet while screaming some obscenity, and then hang up. But this required me stumping (still have my surgical boot on) to the bathroom seven times/day without being productive in the bathroom. (A menopausal woman already makes plenty of trips to the bathroom without telemarketing calls.)
Gone are the days when I just let the answering machine pick it up. Because now they actually leave a message.
Today I received a call from “(0)” on the caller ID. I answered it within one ring without saying “hello”, I said, “Can you please take me off your list” and hung up. The nastyguy called back within seconds. This time I said, “Hello?”
He said: Sarah, may I speak with Marty? (the bold sob used our names)
I said: Who’s calling?
Me: Matthew……do you have a last name? (throwing in lots of attitude)
Him: Reynolds, Matthew Reynolds (throwing in lots of attitude)
Me: And you’re from where?
Him: (Throwing in lots of attitude back and adding an arrogant chuckle) Ahhh, from nowhere.
Me: (really?) Go blankety blank
and I hung up. Damn they can’t hear me “slamming the phone down” when I hit “end call”.
He did not call back. And he thinks we’re going to buy securities from him? From a cold call? Do they not know who I am?
But my favorite telemarketer (at least they are working – just do not be cocky with me), was this poor fellow to whom when I picked up the phone, instead of saying hello, I simply immediately said, “how about you go blankety blank”. He said, “ohhhh, OK” and hung up. I felt sorry for him, he sounded so defeated. But not that sorry.
Matthew Reynolds….I’m on to you.