Tag Archives: long-term health care policy

Honesty on Health Forms

For new blog readers, this is a re-post from 6/2012.  To catch you up, I’ve been empty nested for over eight years now, the last three-four of which I’ve been side-lined with migraines.  I’ve come down with all sorts of other maladies which keep my doctors busy as well.  My husband, Marty, patiently puts up with me…or maybe that’s actually why he travels so much?

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Well, today was hard.  Hard to hear. We are in the process of looking into some long-term healthcare  policy Marty’s trying to get on me because I’m so broken and to cover-our-a$$es for the kids sake.  Also getting one for him.  Here’s an excerpt from our conference call:

HEALTHCARE GUY TO MARTY:  Do you have plans to travel outside of the U.S.?

ME:  Hardee har har, name a country he hasn’t been in.  He’ll be in one or the other until he retires.

GUY TO MARTY:  That’s a yes?

MARTY:  Yes

GUY TO MARTY:  Are you planning on partaking in any risky business, such as piloting a plane, skydiving, scuba diving…

ME TO GUY:  No, he is not.

MARTY:  Apparently not.

GUY TO ME:  What medications do you currently take?

MARTY TO GUY:  How much ink do you have in that pen?

ME:  Shut up, I’m off six drugs now.  Go to hell.  It was a mountainous climb, I tell you.  Actually, it was a decent to hell, you were probably in a different country.

GUY TO ME:  Do you have anxiety, depression, cysts, asthma, migraines, weight gain? (He names lots of others)

ME: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.  Who doesn’t?

GUY TO ME:  Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

ME: Not yet.  But I throw poop at my neighbors in Georgia who let their dog poop on my lawn.  I just haven’t been caught yet.

The conversation went on with the poor guy laughing (I think) at the other end, me and Marty bickering on our end.

FYI for my migraine followers, I am, indeed off three preventative migraine drugs and almost off my fourth.  See what the wonders of getting that dark, dank vegetable garden of polyps out of my sinuses did?  Plus, getting off the Effexor which seems to also have been a culprit in egging on those damned migraines?  Yay me, I am strong.  But fatter.

PS:  We did not qualify.

LIFE’S A BITCH

After taking a rescue migraine drug when I dragged my ass out of bed today, a cup of coffee and a shower, I went to pick up my new prescription sunglasses that contribute to my migraines.  Yay – yes, I’m getting the script in all my NEW perscriptions fixed. I am not a moron.   As my in and out of the car continued on my many errands, my back, from my stay at the Greenwich Hotel in NYC (where they have  $$$ Japanese-style mattresses), decided it had had enough.  I became crippled as if someone pulled a Tonya Harding on the lower portion of my back.  This made it more and more difficult to get in and out of my car.

Then I went to the Post Office who informed me that I could not send little wipies of mosquito repellant to my Sciencegirl in France as of last  May 1, when they said they are inappropriate chemicals for shipping.  K.  Screw you, France customs, as of last May 1, 45 days ago.  She can’t even find mosquito repellent over there – she works in the field 12 hours a day, but THAT’S OK.

Is it 5:00 somewhere? YES.

Then I got home for a call from my Long-Term Care provider that said I might be a problem.  Yeah, you heard me, “might”.  He explained why, and I explained to him why I am no different than any peri-menopausal woman (migraines come w/ the hormones).   So now I’ve had to schedule an appointment with my 1) dermatologist; 2) ENT; 3) neurologist; 4) internist in order to clean up my record so I don’t look like I’m on the 25 medications they seem to think I’m on.  I’m ONLY on three right now, K?  WTF, does being perimenopausal exclude one from long-term care insurance?  I’m clearly being discriminated against.

On a lighter note, when Marty and I had lunch outside on a beautiful day in NYC two days ago, this is what happened to his meatball slider:

YUP, SLIDERED RIGHT OUT, AND LANDED…

ON THE SIDEWALK SIX FEET FROM US

WHO NEEDS RATS?