Tag Archives: humor

Implants

I went back to volunteer at our local cancer hospital (THWIV) after about a year off.  I tried different capacities in the volunteer position, but ended up really missing my friends I had previously made in Pastoral Care.  Stop choking on your coffee, I know I am the least “pastoral” person you might know, but I bring life to the office, life I tell you.

My friends there haven’t seen me since I was able to get off some migraine medications and a little spot of depression therefore having dropped 20 lbs.  They also hadn’t seen me since I had that botched foot joint implant surgery which leaves me with a little limp now and then.

I was talking with one of my closest friends there when I said to him in the conversation, “….no, I can’t wear high heels anymore, I have an implant that went awry.”

He said, “you had an implant, vs. implantS?  No wonder you walk with a limp.”

He clearly had no idea my implant I was talking about was my foot (metatarsal) vs. my breasts.

Insects in February?

Having an extreme dislike for spiders or any bug that is inside my house when its natural habitat is outside my house, I taught both my kids to capture the offending bug in case the exterminator needed to be called so it could be properly identified.  (I learned this identification need from necessity during the Berardi “Invasion of the Carpenter Ants of ’86.)

The best way to capture anything is to put a drinking glass over it, so you can study it.  Then when done properly identifying it, one can slip a piece of paper under the bug and under the glass and discard it outside where it belongs.  Or, you leave the dirty bugger under the glass for days until the exterminator comes to tell you what it is, cuz that’s what the dumb bug gets for coming into my house in the first place.  (I only call the exterminator if the same bug keeps showing up.)

Sciencegirl, who lives where there is no real winter, and it was 56 degrees out today, found this in her bathroom when she got home.  Never a dull moment.  What do you think it is? A wasp?  I’m off to research it.

wasp