Tag Archives: Georgia

HEALTH FORMS

For new blog readers, this is a re-post from 6/2012.  To catch you up, I’ve been empty nested for over eight years now, the last three-four of which I’ve been side-lined with migraines.  I’ve come down with all sorts of other maladies which keep my doctors busy as well.  My husband, Marty, patiently puts up with me…or maybe that’s actually why he travels so much?

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Well, today was hard.  Hard to hear. We are in the process of looking into some long-term healthcare  policy Marty’s trying to get on me because I’m so broken and to cover-our-a$$es for the kids sake.  Also getting one for him.  Here’s an excerpt from our conference call:

HEALTHCARE GUY TO MARTY:  Do you have plans to travel outside of the U.S.?

ME:  Hardee har har, name a country he hasn’t been in.  He’ll be in one or the other until he retires.

GUY TO MARTY:  That’s a yes?

MARTY:  Yes

GUY TO MARTY:  Are you planning on partaking in any risky business, such as piloting a plane, skydiving, scuba diving…

ME TO GUY:  No, he is not.

MARTY:  Apparently not.

GUY TO ME:  What medications do you currently take?

MARTY TO GUY:  How much ink do you have in that pen?

ME:  Shut up, I’m off six drugs now.  Go to hell.  It was a mountainous climb, I tell you.  Actually, it was a decent to hell, you were probably in a different country.

GUY TO ME:  Do you have anxiety, depression, cysts, asthma, migraines, weight gain? (He names lots of others)

ME: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.  Who doesn’t?

GUY TO ME:  Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

ME: Not yet.  But I throw poop at my neighbors in Georgia who let their dog poop on my lawn.  I just haven’t been caught yet.

The conversation went on with the poor guy laughing (I think) at the other end, me and Marty bickering on our end.

FYI for my migraine followers, I am, indeed off three preventative migraine drugs and almost off my fourth.  See what the wonders of getting that dark, dank vegetable garden of polyps out of my sinuses did?  Plus, getting off the Effexor which seems to also have been a culprit in egging on those damned migraines?  Yay me, I am strong.  But fatter.

I REFUSE TO EXERCISE

We have a a gazillion stairs in our vacation home in Georgia. It’s three floors plus the garage floor.  There is an elevator, but it creeps me out.

By the end of each day, one might go up and down about 30 times. On about the tenth trip up for Goose, she yelled to me, “I’m going to side step up the three flights of stairs to work out my inner thighs.”  I said, “You’re a dork.”

She said, “Why, don’t your thighs jiggle, Little Missy?

I said, “No, they just stick together”.

The next two times she went up them she said she was going to reverse her side step.  And after that, she said she was going to skip a step and go every two steps.  Feel free.

Love, Litte Miss Sunshine