Do you remember the blog I posted a while ago about how people should not travel with me as I’m a mess at times, loosing boarding passes, missing flights for no good reason, loosing my friend’s ID,  and let’s not forget the paramedics having to come get me and take me to the ER in Virginia while I was at the DC airport.

I pulled a Sarah again.

I thought the plane was scheduled to depart at 11:30 am.  I was wrong, it was scheduled for 11:00 am.)

We arrived for our departure seemingly with everything in order.  We started chugging our iced coffees before the security line when another girl walked up, doing the same.  She said, “Doesn’t this stink? Not being able to take a water bottle on with us?”  Goose said, “Well, it’s worse for her (pointing to me), because she has her Miralax in there she has to finish it or she’ll pay for it .”  Go ahead, google “Miralax”.

At 11:05 am, I realized what our correct departure time was and panicked.  The screen said people were currently boarding our flight.  I told Goose, who’s slow as molasses, I’m not waiting for you, I’ll make them wait for you, since she was still busy arranging her carry ons.  I politely asked a group of Spring Breakers if we could slip ahead of them because I was a butthead.  They were chill – as they said they were going straight to the bar anyway before their flight.  We scooted through.  We got through the slowest security guy (why do I get those guys?), put our bags through the scanner, and Goose actually had a good idea.  Since our gate was, of course, the LAST gate at the end of the terminal, she suggested we get one of those guys who drive the golf cart for old people, people who are VIPs, or cast-legged people.  Voila – first time I haven’t seen three of them lined up waiting for something to do.  (Just 1 1/2 years ago, one of the fellows offered me a ride (with a smile and telling he liked my shoes).  Not a soul waitin’ on me now.

So I bolted, (yes, like OJ) and I told Goose that if she couldn’t keep up w/ me, I’d hold the plane (right).  I didn’t even have my shoes on yet from going through security, plus, I had a maxi dress on.  How gross – running down the airport terminal in my bare feet.  Five gates down from our gate, I saw the golf-cart guy.  I flagged him down and huffed and puffed, “can you take us to Gate 23.  He said they were just boarding and to get on his ride!  We made it.

Then we arrived at our destination and my pick-up driver guy didn’t show or even call me.  Great.  Luckily (this is a small island) there was another transport fellow there (there usually isn’t), and we hired him.  This is the 3rd time the guy stiffed me.  He’s officially on my LIST.  I let him know he was on my LIST.  (Did you doubt?)   

We arrived at our home, found  five dead ants and a large dead cockroach.  I’m just glad they were dead.  One cable box was fried baby fried.  A remote to another TV was broken w/o volume control, my wireless was down, and there is still a rogue smoke alarm chirping needing a battery.  Damn.  And that wainscoting needs a coat of paint.

I guess I should be thankful that our three days here are forecasted to be thunderstorming.  It will probably take me forever to find the TV code for the new remote. Typical day of traveling for me.

Love, Little Miss Sunshine – PS, read the comments to this blog, they are funnier than the blog.