My mother was a very proud member of the “500 Club”. There are “500 Clubs”, but they are not what she thought they were. She thought it was a club for the hoity toity. Whatever. It was harmless. She also fancied herself an Emily Post of sorts. She frequently reminded us that she had a “mother’s helper” aka Nanny when we were little (she had four children), a cleaning lady, etc. I’m pretty sure she also felt it all went downhill fast.
Consequently, I learned a bevy of information from her. I thought I’d pass some of these things along to you who might be uninformed:
1. Never apply lipstick/gloss at the table. Eeeewwwww.
2. Never say “shut-up” (Lawyerboy).
3. It’s “I did well“, not “I did good“. The answer to “how are you today?” is, “I’m well, how are you?”
4. Do not say “I don’t like this”. Say “I don’t care for this, thank you.”
5. Always have black olives and gherkin pickles on your holiday dinner table.
6. Say “congratulations” to the groom and “best wishes” to the bride. Otherwise it is insulting.
7. Dim the lights, light the candles.
8. It’s “au jus”, not blood.
9. It’s not, “I feel bad“, it’s “I feel badly“.
10. Always tell Sarah she’s P.E.R.F.E.C.T.
Love, Little Miss HorMONA