The boss asked me to make a bunch of large 8 1/2 x 11 labels for the plastic bins in the basement of THWIV. In the middle of the packet of about 20 or so, I slipped one in that said, “SARAH IS VERY PRETTY”, hoping she’d get a little laugh while she was down in that creepy place by herself.
The next thing I knew, it was taped up on the wall in the office. Someone said: Who put that up there?
I said: I typed it, the boss put it there.
He said: Why?
I said: Because nobody at home tells me I’m pretty, I like to pretend I am, so I have them hung up all over the house to remind people in my family to tell me I’m pretty. I don’t see the harm in it. It wouldn’t kill anyone if they told me I was pretty.
He said: You, are, sick.
I said: So what.
But within a week or so the little sign began to take on a life of its own. People started adding their own “two cents” on there. My name is written in Japanese on it now. The other Sara w/o an H added her name stating she was pretty as well (she is).
As you read closer though, you’ll find I had to make a few justifications of my own on it – such as the part that says:
YES, THERE IS AN "H" AT THE END OF MY NAME, IT'S CUT OFF IN PIC
(You see, I felt I had to make this justification because those two things listed, three, actually, are just some of the side effects of just two of the drugs I take on a daily basis as preventatives for my migraines. Every day I take these. Every darned day. And maybe somebody nasty in THWIfrigginVolunteer found the need to highlight, in yellow, all my typographical errors and point them out to “the boss”. Ahhhhh, the rewarding job of volunteering.)
But when I went in today, someone (I like this someone) had crossed out my “may” and added “w/ martini will”. I have no idea what they are talking about. Do you? Hmpf.
And to add fuel to the fire, I added this, I think it’s a quote from Winnie the Pooh?
I allow myself to make three mistakes a day before beating myself up. New rule. It’s tough for Patty Perfect to do this, you know. Very.
P. Sarah Perfect
You are very pretty.
Thank you. I knew either you, M or W would come through for me.
You ARE beautiful, especially when you have your lips outlined!
It just hit me — HOW could you be shorter than Napoleon? Was he standing on a box?
Anyway, good for you for making the sign. Truer words never spoken, er written, er printed. They should at least double your salary for showing such initiative.
OMG, and Bert from Sesame Street eyebrows!
I shall tell the boss lady BBQ Judge, because we volunteers are hard to fire.