HOW TO ORDER PIZZA

I ordered “no cheese, but with black olives, pepperoni, and mushrooms.” It came w/ cheese, no olives or pepperoni, or mushrooms.  Check out the proliferous amounts of cheese, and the negligent amount of olives, pepperoni and shrooms.

Just don’t order your pizza from Johnny J’s Pizza in Elma, NY :) .  I can only scrape off  wrong orders from them so many times before I look more foolish than my usual foolish self.  I used to think to myself, “what if that was my kid making that pizza and simply had made an inadvertant mistake?  I’d swallow it.  But I’ve seen those kids.  They are not anything like my own innocent kids.  They are kids who don’t give a fiddler’s fart about whether or not they get fired or pink slipped.  Little do they know, the pizza they are tossing together could send someone into anaphalactic shock or a migraine for five days simply from their not giving a rat’s ass and tomfoolery.  Nor worries.  After this happened to me for about the fifth thime, this officious jerk lost her big-girl panties and her patience.  Marty kindly offered to take it back to which I said, no, but thank you; I’ll take it tomorrow and throw it up agains the wall.  He suggested that we both have to start checking our food as soon as it’s in front of us before paying and walking out the door.  (Tim Hortons is the King of screwing up your breakfast burrito w/o cheese that comes laden with cheese, and you don’t realized until after you’re driven five miles past the ever-so-efficient drive-thru.

So I moved on to acceptance (who, me? – never) and decided to make myself popcorn for dinner.  Voila.  This pic below are the popcorn kernals on the floor before making it in to my beloved popcorn pot.

OK, so what if  my dinner ended up being Xanax?

(late) ANNUAL EYE CHECK

Hmpf.  These are my eyes:

“You’ve got flies in your eyes,” Yossarian repeated. “That’s probably why you can’t see them.” CATCH 22

Sorry, my caption makes me laugh every time I talk about eyes.  I woke Lawyerboy up one morning for school saying that to him.  (That’s probably why he’s so smart.)

First, the optitian told me I had the beginnings of cataracts.  Who doesn’t?

Digress…I went to my eye checkup today because I felt as if I couldn’t quite see as well lately.  Maybe I should stop drinking at 9 am, but why change now.  The optometrist told me I had blaphsomething, and surgically fixing it would be covered by insurance.  I said, “I didn’t know it was that noticeable”.  Well, apparently is it.  It’s just droopier, ya know, a smaller eye opening.    Do you remember one of my blogs from long ago where the woman at the DMV told me my pic looked great except for my lazy eye?  Pfft.  It’s not a lazy eye, it’s just a droopy fat eyelid. (Is it a lazy eye?)  In actuality, it’s better on some days than others, and it has been evident in pictures of me from way back.  Even before I put on my weight.

First, I suggested to the optometrist that perhaps it was just my seasonal allergies that were particularly nasty.  Nope, he said.  Then I fessed that I had, indeed been crying a lot for the last week, let’s say 20 hours a day out of the 24.  (Yes, I fall asleep around 3 am and wake around 7 am – hence the name of my blog title.)  Again, he said, Nope.  He told me it would be covered by my insurance because my eyelids were covering my visibility.  I told him that his eyes were at half mast and covering his visibility.  He just stared at me. (He also questioned me on what “kookadoodledoo” was on my form I had just filled out under the section of “illnesses”.  Dumbass.)

I think it’s normal aging, and you just have to catch me on a good day if you want to see my eyes lookin’ hot.

Love, Little Miss Sunshine